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Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Am i suppose to be understanding?
The hurt is just overwhelming.
I'm sorry if i'm being rude but i simply can't take it.
Why i your attitude like this?
I learn to forgive and forget and that is what i have been doing.
However, i can't stand the look on your face.
It's just something that i tolerated too long.
Today, i finally burst into tears.
I was not supposed to be at fault.
You are suppose to handle your own things.
If you do not want people to call you, why don't you disconnect the telephone line?
I know it's a sin that i'm feeling like this towards you.
But to me, i'm not wrong here.
I hate it when you threatens,
When you show your anger,
when you complain to others,
when you made my name rusty.
Don't blame me if i've muted myself towards you.
Don't blame me if i've turned myself against you.
Don't blame me if it's hard for me to show my emotions towards you.
And don't blame me for this, i simply don't like you.
If i could say i hate you, i would.
But to me, hate is too strong.
No matter what, you're an elder and i shall respect that.
but tbh, you don't deserve it at all.
I'm sorry. But i'll continue being like this.


EmmaEclair
7:21 AM


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Am i suppose to be understanding?
The hurt is just overwhelming.
I'm sorry if i'm being rude but i simply can't take it.
Why i your attitude like this?
I learn to forgive and forget and that is what i have been doing.
However, i can't stand the look on your face.
It's just something that i tolerated too long.
Today, i finally burst into tears.
I was not supposed to be at fault.
You are suppose to handle your own things.
If you do not want people to call you, why don't you disconnect the telephone line?
I know it's a sin that i'm feeling like this towards you.
But to me, i'm not wrong here.
I hate it when you threatens,
When you show your anger,
when you complain to others,
when you made my name rusty.
Don't blame me if i've muted myself towards you.
Don't blame me if i've turned myself against you.
Don't blame me if it's hard for me to show my emotions towards you.
And don't blame me for this, i simply don't like you.
If i could say i hate you, i would.
But to me, hate is too strong.
No matter what, you're an elder and i shall respect that.
but tbh, you don't deserve it at all.
I'm sorry. But i'll continue being like this.


EmmaEclair
7:21 AM


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Thursday, August 19, 2010

Yesterday
Yesterday,one word:GEYLANG
I cant believe i spent half my day yesterday at Geylang.
My mom wants me to follow along to Geylang until it was time for us to break fast.
We had our dinner at Chai Chee Restaurant.
Well, had a blast.
Hahaha.
Wait, did i mention i wanted to lose weight?
Okay, that's after yesterday.
haha.
Anyway, after that we went to CS.
Slack for a while than home(:
Today
Nothing much to say.
Im listless today.
Broke fast all by myself.
Before that i tweeted yayan.
Then he called to ask me to break fast with him and a few others i guess.
But it was too last minute and plus my mom have already cooked.
Though i was breaking fast alone.
Thanks anyway yan(:
That's all.
Now, i have nothing to do with the comp or anything else.
Seriously listless.
Gosh!
Nevermind,i'm out.


EmmaEclair
4:49 AM


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Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Woke up, felt so lost.
No one was home.
Great.
I spend my day today doing random things.
Watch random vids.
Listen random musics.
Think of random things.
And above all, here is the most random thing that i have been thinking about.
Shall I seriously go and lose weight?
I have no idea why but half my heart feels like while the other half don't feel like.
Reason being is that, what's the point for losing weight?
Will that make me happy?
Hais.
But I have a goal in life.
To be able to lose weight and take up dancing as a hobby.
Shall i do it?
Im in dilemma.
Lose weight? Don't lose? Lose? Don't?
Crap, told ya today is a random night along with random post.

EmmaIsConfused


EmmaEclair
6:23 AM


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Monday, August 16, 2010



I LOVE KPOP


EmmaEclair
9:29 AM


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Thursday, July 15, 2010

I went home today and go out with my mom to get presentation clothes.
I feel damn tired and irritated with many things.
Also, things are confusing and I have no one to rely on.
Apart from my school, I'm confused by other things.
Hais, why are things so complicated?
I wish things are simple so I can get it straight.
Hais, I give up.
If your msg pops out at my phone, it would really brighten up my day.


Wishing that you noticed


EmmaEclair
7:32 AM


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Tuesday, June 29, 2010

I'm feeling extremely upset right now.
What have i done wrong?
My grandmother has drive me to my wits end.
Do i look so much like a rotten granddaughter?
I dont smoke
I dont drink
I dont go home late
I dont have a boyfriend.
All the things that are not duppose to be done by a girl that much are all the thing that i never did.
Must you judge me by the way i behave at home.
I admit that i really dont want to have conver with you that much.
It's not about being rude.
It's about how topicless will it be if i were to talk to you.
If you ask me question, i answer.
But hell you just pissed me.
You were the one who could not hear me and you still dare to call me jahat?
"Die ni memang jahat"
What rights do you have to say that to me?
I did nothing wrong and this is how you judge me?
I dont care if you favour my brother more than me cause it din mattered.
But dont judge me the way i'm not.
It's just not fair.
You ignore or hate me all you can, dont judge me wrongly.
You're telling everyone of your friends that i'm the most rude and unfilial granddaughter you had.
But you're wrong.
I'm not the one doing the bad things but you are.
It's your problem if you're coming home late, not coming home, going out, not cooking or anything.
You don't have to tell me or call me and pretend that you care.
You cant tell me what to do cause what i'm doing is not wrong to anyone but only in your eyes.
I can pretend that i'm fine.
But deep inside, i really prefer that you don't care.
Now after that phrase,my tears kept flowing.
I never want to get emotional when it involves you because i dont feel worth it.
But that phrase really showed me how much you have badmouthed me.
It's not fair.
As long as Tuhan sahaje yang tahu.
I know i did not do anything wrong.
It's up to you to say whatever you want.
I give up.
I'm so sad right now.
I've never been so sad.
My tears kept flowing.
If only i have a listening ear who would console me.
Then again, i aint that lucky.
Going through this and being badmouthed on my own.
I'm hurting like crazy.


EmmaEclair
5:29 AM


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